Growing Up....looking inward....

In the quiet moments at home, usually when Felipe passes out on top of me, I look at Felipe and imagine the life that awaits him. A light brown hair, blue eye boy, with a clearly Hispanic first and last name.  I  know that he would face different treatment if he had darker features, if he had different textured hair, if he grew up in a different neighborhood, etc .  How to teach a child of tolerance in a world that clearly glosses over the hurts of the American Society and lets it break out into violence? I've seen the photos of the parents of Michael Brown, shot, unarmed by the police and I have wept. I look to my faith, Christianity, where the love of another is emphasized, forgiveness for those who hurt us, and with the knowledge that there is a divine power who entrust us with the job of taking care of each other. In seeing the images that mirror the civil rights movement of the 1960's streaming from my TV, I waiver and for a second wish the alternative, looking for retaliation.  I am in constant prayer over the hearts and minds of our fellow citizens who treat their neighbors with so much hate and intolerance.

The intellectual part of me which to explore and analyze why does history repeat it self? how does a society evaluate itself or have moments of introspection to prevent the history from repeating itself.  My more practical side wonders, how does this apply to my daily life?  What have I repeated in my life, in raising Felipe, that I haven't been introspective about.  Reading, Compound Effect, it warns of living life kinda on "autopilot", not being intentional in one's daily's life.  In creating a new healthy lifestyle, I'm trying to evaluate certain triggers.  Why do I suddenly crave sweet? Why am I looking for junk food? I've come to discover a couple of things.... 1) when I don't drink enough water, I start to crave snacking every 10 minutes.  I drink a bottle of water, I'm over it and I can hold out till my next scheduled snack time.  2) I use food as a reward and I have a hard time thinking of other "rewards" that aren't food related.  We've always celebrated bday with a huge meal and cake. Or on a weekly basis, "I've done well on eating for 6 days, on the 7th day, I should get a pie", LOL.  Food is Fuel, not a reward.

I don't have answers yet, but keeping things at the forefront and really trying to approach things differently is what I seek to do.  As for American society, with its school shooting, police brutality, & accepted level of violence, I will continue to pray for change and pray to find a way I can assist in finding peace.  And perhaps I should start with the simple things, drink more water, hug Felipe tightly and tell him everyday, without fail, that I love him.

Felipe has wanted to cuddle and sleep, he has a canker sore and doesn't feel like eating.  He has been holding my hand as he sleep(makes it hard to type, lol).  So cute and it sparks a lot of thought and introspection. God Bless